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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Reflections Part II...

Reflection - consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose

So there are several definitions for reflection, every dictionary has about 10 different meanings listed. Some show synonyms to the word but the main thing is they all bring you back to same point; a result, idea, thought about a certain topic basically. Well that's putting it into my own words. Just don't quote me, I could be wrong. How people interpret situation outcomes or information that's read is basically a matter of opinion.

For instance, I have not always had the best self-esteem coming up, whether I was TOO big, TOO tall, TOO loud, TOO quiet, hair was TOO nappy, TOO broke, and that list could go on forever. I was never happy within myself. Honestly it wasn't until recently where I started to embrace everything that society or most importantly ME always saw as wrong. Now I won't go into pointing fingers as to why I always felt unworthy or lacking in the loving myself department because the fact of the matter is it has always been up to me to love myself in order for others to love me in return. The many faults I saw in the mirror were 'OPINIONS' whether they came from the horses mouth (me) or others that surrounded me. The only opinion that should have truly mattered should have been mine. If I was confident within myself anybody elses opinion would have took a flying leap off the nearest cliff. Either way that's in the past, I couldn't love myself more now. It took me about 20 years to figure that out but hey the most important thing is that I finally see a lot of things for what they are. Not to say that I still don't doubt myself in my endeavors or even my personal appearance at times but who doesn't? I have bad hair days, clothes don't fit right, and so on.

Moment of honesty: Who doesn't enjoy hearing "Good Job", "You look nice", "You better do that!"? (OK that last one was something I say but y'all catch my drift)

I still ENJOY getting compliments from time to time but I don't REQUIRE/LOOK for it anymore. I know people personally that don't like to do anything if they don't get praises for what they do. If they don't get the praise that they require then they go to bragging about everything they have accomplished or have done for others. Truthfully if I don't get asked about some stuff that I am capable of doing or have done then I don't say anything. I absolutely hate the spotlight, it makes me sweat profusely. LOL... I spend too much money on clothes to sweat them out, I'm just saying. (DH don't say a word) I guess my point is don't look for compliments to define you as good in your craft, define you as a nice looker, or overall nice human being. Carry yourself in that manner, feel it within and that ore will shine through. It will be obvious that you are the truth without you opening your mouth and saying a mumbling word. There's something about being a child of God, whether you have a setback from time to time or you walk straight all the time (bless you if you walk the straight all the time cause Lord knows I got issues) outsiders will recognize the good in you even when you don't see it.

Alrighty good people that is my rant of the day... well part of it... the rest is coming soon!

Much Love ~Nika~

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