The good with the bad...

There comes a time in our lives where we have a trade that means the world to us. It's our outlet to escape the ugliness of the world. Be it a writer, a singer, or a dancer, whatever the gift is it feels good to be able to express our creativity through those channels. Of course it feels good and warms our hearts to get the praise of the work but with the good there has to be some bad out there. Although people that are serious about their craft needs the constructive criticism along with the good reviews, it still has that sting affect that everyone isn't pleased.

As some of the readers know, I have released my fourth book titled 'Austin's Desire'. It's a little different from my previous titles. I first released the story on wattpad.com for the wide range of fans that I collected on that site, just for pure entertainment and fun. The story morphed into a full fledged romance novel, received over two thousand votes, and countless interested comments. The story kept the readers attention and had them asking for more. My wonderfully supportive DH let me know straight up that 'Austin's Desire' was a winner and should be published. When daddy speaks, I shall obey... (winks and giggles) The first week sales honestly shocked me honestly, no doubt about it I'm extremely happy at the success of the book but I had no idea it was going to take off as it did.

Now don't get me wrong I don't expect everyone to see the vision that I see when I write a book. I know that's not how it works by any means. So when I checked on Austin's progress today on Amazon.com, I was excited to see I had my very first review on there but as I read the contents that excitement soon keeled over and died. It was a two star vote and the reviewer went to give a detailed review of what they thought was wrong with both my writing and the characters. Personally I don't agree but I could be biased. Luckily I have some pretty tough skin and understand in this industry not everyone is going to be pleased by what is released. Just because 2000 people think it's a winner, there will always be one person that will go 'It could have been better' or say 'it was terrible.' That's just the way the cookie crumbles... :(

Thank you to all the wonderful readers, fans, reviewers, and supporters that truly enjoy what I have to offer readers. To others that are not quite moved, sorry maybe next time.

Again Austin's Desire is officially on sale on amazon.com, smashword.com, and will be available through barnesandnoble.com as well as iBook store in a week. Until next time...

Much Love ~Nika~

http://www.amazon.com/Austins-Desire-K-Harris-ebook/dp/B00FL07JQW/ref=cm_rdp_product

The Countdown...

The countdown officially begins now. Only 29 more days before the release of 'Questionable Intentions,' the third self-published book in 'The Crew' series. For those wonderful readers who have read 'Love Drug' & 'Mo Better' the wait is almost over. The cover is ready and I promised a sneak peak. So for the loyal readers and fans I have accumulated, this one is for you. 

Created by K. K. Harris

Synopsis…

The OVC also known as the Orange Valley Crew has a motto of money, drugs, power, and respect. To them those are the most important things in the world and in that order some of the time. This special group has their sights set on a certain opponent who has caused their once untouchable empire to crumble under the leadership of their MIA leader Sean Livingston. Revenge is a powerful weapon against even the strongest competitor but adding greed to the mix and it’s a recipe for straight up disaster, but for whom?

Broderick Walker better known as Brock hung up his dirty gloves from the past to live the simple yet comfortable life of husband, dad, son, brother, friend, and business owner. With his family and TRUE friends by his side the past is exactly what it is, the past. Although he has tamed the ugly, mean beast that lies underneath his cool calm exterior, old habits still tend to die hard and senses never dull but lie dormant like a disease itching to resurface. When old enemies show their ugly heads, how will he react?

When this group makes Brock public enemy number one and all that is close to him what will the outcome be? Who will walk away victorious?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Until next time loves,

Much Love ~Nika~ 



Questionable Motives...

Oftentimes us as human beings are quick to judge, forgetting that we have no authority to do so. As the saying goes, "Stuff happens!" Of course not in those words but the meaning remains the same. It's basically what I call, "selective memory loss." LOL... :)

This weekend, something that I happened to see bothered my spirit a little or I witnessed some things that didn't sit too well with me. After I used some choice words about the matter, I had a discussion with my DH because I needed some clarity in the matter and it went a little something like this.  Summed up in so many words, there was disrespect or some questionable things that went on for far too long to be a misunderstanding. Disrespect in any form or fashion is just completely unacceptable in any form, shape, or fashion especially in an intimate relationship. (JUST MY OPINION) It may stem from being disrespected in past relationships that probably triggered some extra resentment from me. Either way after I voiced my issues on the matter to my better half and voice of reason for a couple of days, I started to think maybe I was being too harsh  and maybe I was judging before I knew the whole story. (literally shrugs shoulders)

Was that considered as judging or was my actions in any way judgmental?

My temporary sympathy voice was topped by my DH's voice of reason. What I was doing was not per say judging but observing what I saw and voicing my opinion, concerns, and expressing my disdain about the matter in it's entirety. 

Let's face it, who am I to judge anyone about their discretion's, if those affected don't give a flying flip then why should I? Right? But if the actions of other's make me feel uncomfortable or feel some type of way then shouldn't it be okay that I voice those concerns? 

What's the difference in being judgmental and just voicing what you have observed?

Oh well it was just something that was on my mind. Maybe I should put it into a story. That may be interesting. Just so the readers know that thought just came to me like a light bulb. I wonder would anybody read it, buy it, or accept it. Only time will tell but my mind is telling me that this would be an interesting tale. I apologize that I can't go into detail about what I witnessed that bothered the heck out of me but my discretion is really to protect the innocent. Use your imagination a little, it could be more interesting than me telling the story. After all the best stories are those based off of true life events with a little imagination thrown in, or at least that's my opinion. Until next time!!!  

Much Love ~NappyRedd~

"If change is free, how much is 'NOTHING' worth?

Change - To become different or undergo alteration: He changed as he matured. 
                 To undergo transformation or transition

Nothing - One that has no substance or importance; a nonentity: "A nothing is a dreadful thing to hold onto" (Edna O'Brien).
                  Insignificant or worthless: "the utterly nothing role of a wealthy suitor" (Bosley Crowther).
                  One of no consequence, significance, or interest: The new nonsmoking policy is nothing to me.

So many definitions can be used to define these two simple words. But the most simplistic thing can be the most detailed or difficult. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking it's simple to follow a recipe when in actuality following the directions to the tee can be a recipe for disaster. It seems simple to do a lot of things until it's time to start working towards the finish line. The obstacles thrown in the path to slow down or completely stop the process are the speed bumps of life. 

But the question should really be: Is change really free?

Change can turn a persons life completely around, upside down, and turn it inside out. The ugly people that need to be cleansed would call that bad but actually it's called growth. The point in one's life where the same old, day to day BS is just not enough or not appealing anymore. Struggling living from pay check to pay check, endless drama, grudges, emptiness, loneliness, loveless, or struggling to cope with life's many hurdles. Really the list could go on forever. It's like the many medication commercials that they advertise that could help with this illness or that problem but then the side effects may cause so many dang problems that one has to ask; "What's the point of taking this mess if I am just going to add more ISH to the already messed up ISH I have going on?" Just my opinion... :) Then you counter that example with a gambler that says "Go big or go home!" Now that statement could go a lot of different ways. Basically my interpretation is, you have to take the risk in order to reach a goal. 

The Versus Factor: How much is 'NOTHING' worth?

This question could confuse folks who are not used to thinking outside of the box. With a question like this in order to find the answer, one must think with the left and right side of the brain with a little street sense sprinkled in the middle to understand. Let's be real, if nothing is changed then nothing is gained. DING DING DING, BY GEORGE I THINK I GOT IT!!! Doing 'NOTHING' can cost too dang much, once again in my opinion. Without gaining anything in life, what's the point? A person can't grow finances, change body image, eat for that matter if they do 'NOTHING'! Just saying... 

Summarization of it all; Changing ones lifestyle will only cost what wasn't a necessity in a persons life to begin with. On the other hand 'NOTHING' causes stress that effects your health, adds wrinkles, anger management issues, and a boatload of other problems. 

Which one is honestly more beneficial?

Until next time... Holla at your girl and let me know how you feel?

Much Love ~Nika~

Answered Prayers...

Do you have faith and trust that your prayers will be answered instead of impatiently waiting, wishing for a quicker response?

Prayers can be as grand as the person praying envisions them to be or as grave as the person praying make them out to be. But what's the point in praying if you have no faith behind that prayer or trust that it will be answered in the best interest of all parties involved. Yesterday in Sunday school, we were basically reminded that all prayers are answered but it just may not be the answer that we want to hear. Our teacher basically said there is 1 of 3 answers that you will receive; an immediate YES, an immediate NO, and a WAIT. That made so much sense and often time we as humans forget that just because we thought it was a good WANT doesn't mean it was an immediate NEED or if it is needed at all. God provides what we need and knows before hand what we need because our lives have been predestined.

I am far from a preacher so let me move on. 

I know it's been a minute since I have blogged so excuse me if my thoughts are all over the place because that's exactly how I feel right now, a straight up scatter brain. So much is going on, I eliminated a title from my resume yet and still my plate is still full. And again I won't complain because at least I AM ABLE to perform. 
Exciting news, 'Love Drug' has been approved for purchasing through iBook (apple) and Nook (Barnes and Noble). After going through the entire process of self publishing I realized just how every little detail counts. It was a long tedious process for the book to be approved to be distributed to those two outlets but alas I made it. On to other exciting news, the sequel to 'Love Drug' is finally available. Proofreading, proofreading, proofreading... "Lord have mercy on my fingers and my eye balls." Lol... 'Mo Better' has become available on Amazon.com and Lulu.com for ebook, and Createspace.com for a hard copy. Keep in mind that purchasing from Createspace.com the purchaser has to pay for shipping and handling. If you live in the Little Rock area, the copies that were purchased by me will be here on April 29th. Please leave a comment or hit me up on facebook, twitter, instagram, wattpad, and the list just keeps on ticking. Either me or my manager, A. Harris will gladly point you in the direction you wish to go. A blog with pictures and links will be coming soon. Thanks in advance for the support!!!

Much Love ~Nika~

Epiphany or Revelation...

Epiphany - (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure
Revelation - (1) a : an act of revealing or communicating divine truth
b : something that is revealed by God to humans
(2) a : an act of revealing to view or making known
b : something that is revealed; especially : an enlightening or astonishing disclosure 

Everyone has had those moments where it feels like a light bulb has went off in your head like the cartoons and it's always when either they are trying to think of a way to get out of something or to get something they want. 

Well all to often I have these epiphany moments where I get a little clarity on issues of the heart. I have a habit of letting things bother me until I dang near crack. Is it healthy or wise to do that? Probably not but the truth of the matter is that I do too much and don't think I don't hear about it from my better half. My DH is the voice of reason when I try to argue with the inevitable. He can be that light switch that preps the actual light bulb to light up. Ok, that may sound crazy to some and I will try my best to explain my analogy. The light switch is flipped, electrical currents flow to deliver a signal, and 'BING' the light bulb shines bright. Sometimes I tend to read too much into certain situations when the answer is quite simple. I wish I didn't do that but the fact remains, it is what it is because I do tend to over-analyze things. Often times we want to find a solution that will benefit everyone but as I have stated before that's not always possible. The only thing I am positive about is that the person that always tries to find the silver lining in a never ending drama situation with issues pulling from every angle is that they will be the ones burned in the end. Left with a bitter taste, a worn out spirit, and physically burnt are the only outcomes that is predestined. 

I was determined never to go back to the complainer that I once was. Recent stressful situations have really tried to test that theory unfortunately. Needless to say my voice of reason was not going to let me fall for that trap and after having a tête-à-tête with the voice, I had to pray for guidance cause I was beyond conflicted. Me personally I'm the type that will wait for a response before I do or at least I try my best to wait it out. To say I didn't have to wait long would be an understatement, the light bulb went off in my head so quick it made me stumble a bit. 

My epiphany moment was when I realized that I am not Superwoman and I can't change or improve everything. Just because I was asked to do something does not mean that I'm obligated to do it. It's okay to say 'no thank you' or 'not this time', it's okay to disappoint some people. They will get over it and if they don't than two peas in a bucket, that's between them and their conscience. Boo-hoo everybody is not always going to be happy with you point-blank-period. 

The revelation came with a solution that should appease my hungry soul, compromise with my creative spirit, and settle my overactive nerves. Will outsiders agree? Probably not but who's problem is that really? That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

Adjusting...

Adjust - 

1. To change so as to match or fit; cause to correspond.

2. To bring into proper relationship.

3. To adapt or conform, as to new conditions: "unable to adjust themselves to their environment" (Karl A. Menninger). See Synonyms at adapt.

Adjusting or adapting to a new feeling, surrounding, situation, etc. can be quite taxing if you are not prepared properly. It's almost like a badly cooked meal if it's not properly prepped. The results can be devastating if you are not an adaptable type of person. By that I mean if you don't adjust well to changes whether they were sudden or purposely. Oftentimes unavoidable surprises and dilemma's present themselves at the most inappropriate time. Those times when an unexpected expense comes up when you already have limited funds, some choose to freak out while others choose to take it as life's unexpected hurdles and just cross it. After all what does stressing about a situation really get a person. Oh yeah I know, a shorter life span, wrinkles, high blood pressure, acne, headaches, and the list could go on forever. What's the point in that?! 

How can one really prepare for LIFE? Is it possible to be prepared for every mishap or hiccup that can occur to throw a person off their path?

My answer is simple, I don't have a freaking clue because I honestly feel I am never properly prepared. I am prepared in certain aspects but mainly I prefer short term goals. Of course I have long term goals too but long term seems so far away. LOL... OK seriously though, life is too short to stress over what is to come. That attitude seems to work out better for me personally. My answer to the second question is, in my opinion no one can ever be prepared for everything. One can try but surprises always pop up when you least expect it. It's like a reality check that things change every day. Just when you think things are going good and you are moving on up like the Jefferson's, some unexpected burden shows it's ugly head to knock you down a few notches. The most important thing is that once you're knocked down is that you get back up. The worst thing that one can do is let whatever the problem is keep them down and do nothing to remedy the problem. 

Life is an upward battle, you gotta put in the proper effort in order to continue to fight through the obstacles thrown in the way. 

Be Blessed folks... I'm a work in progress, what about you? 

Deuces ~Nika~ 

Conflict Vs. Compromise

Conflict -
A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one: "the eternal conflict between the sexes".

Compromise -
An agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.

Often times things or situations become played out like eight tracks. I know that's a very cliche saying but it's true more times than not. So what are we to do about the played out or outdated things? Well the smart thing to do would be to change the order, the outcome, or who is involved. Basically the keyword would be change. Everyday people young and old complain about this or complain about that. I must admit I was once a guilty participant in the pity city committee. The pity city committee is pretty much self explanatory. Something goes wrong and instead of taking the blame for my part in the messed up situation, I find what else was wrong and throw the focus there. All while relishing in the pity given from outsiders telling me it's gonna be alright or better yet the pity I consumed myself in. You know the saying, "Wallowing in self-pity." It took years to come to the conclusion that nothing was ever going to be alright unless I first figured out what the problem was, prayed for guidance to solve the problem, and then proceed to come up with solutions to fix the problem even if that required removing myself from the equation entirely. So the question of today is, DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.....

Why produce or deal with conflict when the obvious answer is to propose a compromise?

Now if that doesn't work then it's obvious that everybody doesn't have good intentions towards problem solving. What is so wrong with things changing especially for the good? Good changes promote healthy growth. Everybody is not out to kill, steal, and destroy. Only one entity has the ability to do something so heartless because that's his entire goal. It's known that some people are set in their ways and absolutely despise change but my main question is WHY? These people don't want to try anything new whether its food, songs, dances, adventures, and that list could go on forever. That just sounds plain dang BORING. Who wants to live like that? Certainly not me...

As I've stated in previous blogs my complaint-o-meter is out of service and I've officially moved out of pity city. If its something that's bothering me I'm in the business of figuring out what can be done about it to make it better and should I remove myself completely to avoid further strain. Compromising to appease those who dislike change is where most parties of conflict end up because nine times out of ten somebody if not everybody involved may not have any intentions on budging. It sucks huge ones but the fact remains is that it happens.

As the slogan for my church goes, "Change is free" but to add on to that statement that already speaks volumes, "How much does conflict and never ending drama cost?" If you dig a little deeper or better yet dig way below the surface area, you could possibly see that those negatives can cost you the important things in life. Friends, family, job, money, and most importantly respect. 

That is all for today folks. Of course I will be back soon with some other thoughts but I feel it's inappropriate to connect the thoughts of the two subject matters that's on my mind today. To all who stay up on current events of Literary Essence will be thoroughly entertained, well everybody that's open-minded will enjoy. On that note, I'LL HOLLA!!!

Much Love ~Nika~

New Chapter...

Today will bookmark a new chapter for me in my own personal book of life. On a previous blog I wrote about making changes in your life to attain the goals you set. Well something to that affect. Basically I wrote about things that you don't like and if you have to complain about them all the time then maybe the changes lie within you. Regardless that was the jest of the entire blog. And truly that is the walk of life I want to remain on from this day forward. A lot of things in my life were just mediocre. I was so bored out of my mind with mediocre and just living life from day to day with no expectations. OK that's not entirely true, I had expectations and high ones I might add. But I finally stopped looking and thinking about what I wanted out of life and decided to start making things happen to better my situation so that one day I don't have to just envision what I want to do or where I want to go. Instead, I can "JUST DO IT!"

I like that slogan a lot. I wish I would have thought of it first. LOL

What are your goals in life? What do you want to accomplish before that great day of judgement? Are you taking the necessary steps to surpass them, not just reach them?

One of the main questions I asked myself one day was; "Would my kids be proud of my accomplishments when they are older and look back?" At the time my answer was HECK NO! Mainly because I haven't done anything for ME to be proud of MYSELF. Duh Kanika, Really? (Yes I did just speak to myself in third person, don't act like y'all have never done it...lol) If you can't be proud of yourself then how on Earth can you expect others to be. Same as loving yourself in my book, some may disagree but eh to each his/her own opinion. I know some people may think the goals I have set for myself at this current moment will fail and that's cool. It's not like this is the first time I have ever been told, "I don't think you can do that or I don't think that's such a good idea." Honestly in the past that has been my stopping point. I would speak into the atmosphere for others to hear what my plans were and it would get shot down like the ducks on the Nintendo game Duck Hunt. POW! I was instantly defeated. I always let others opinions on my life dictate how I lived.

Thank God I grew out of that stage of my life. The grown up Kanika doesn't need a pat on the back, encouraging words, a pep talk, or approval from anyone but the maker himself. When he gives me those signs that keep adding up no matter how many times I blow them off as being maybe just a coincidence. He doesn't and hasn't given up on me so I figured it was time to get up off my butt and do what he has been showing me all this time. Sure it's gonna be hard at first, nothing is ever easy and if it is then it probably ain't right. As long as I keep the faith and stay prayed up, all of my endeavors will prosper. That word is bond for sure. Alrighty good people that's my testimony for today and how I'm feeling. Much Love...

HOW YOU DOING?! ~Nika~

Is it really that serious???

Negativity - Lacking positive or constructive features, especially:

a. Unpleasant; disagreeable

b. Gloomy; pessimistic

c. Unfavorable or detrimental

d. Hostile or disparaging; malicious

As most of the readers know, I run around most of the time like a chicken with it's head cut off seriously. I'm not complaining because I actually feel like I have self-worth when I keep busy. That may be weird to some then again somebody may feel the same way but that may not be the word they would use. Well during one of my many activities that I participate in, this particular activity is normally playful yet serious enough that ultimately ends with a productive outcome. This time it was like a dark cloud descended upon the activity. <SIGHS LOUDLY> I have noticed when things are playful and relaxed instead of tense and stressed more work gets done. And the bonus is everyone has a good time while they work, it's a win-win situation really.

The question of the day is:

Why is it so hard for some people to be happy and embrace change? Especially if it's positive? 

I mean I don't get it... OK, I take that back, I do get up but dang. Everything is not meant to be filled with garbage truck juice and the world don't revolve around you. It's like they give themselves a speech before they enter into drama-free zone saying, "If I'm miserable everybody gonna be miserable!" It's really not that serious. If you don't like something don't participate, if you dislike the people that are going to be there then don't come, and lastly if everything around you pisses you off then you may be the cause of your own pistivity. (Yup I sure did slap that made up word in there. LOL) But seriously if everything around you breaks from your touch than your touch is too dang rough and you might need to evaluate that issue. It's like an elephant in a china shop, he is gonna wreck the shop, literally. So if you know your mood sucks why inflict that negative mood on others. Disturbing the atmosphere is just wrong!

Then you have the folks that wish bad things to happen because things didn't go their way. Wow, really is it that serious? Then when things look a little bleak you wait for the gossip mill to start up, just so you can so "I told y'all that was gonna happen." Since my not complaining anymore blog a couple weeks ago, I decided I'm done worrying about others. And furthermore since I don't like the way some people act, I affirm that I will always find the positive in a negative situation even if I'm surrounded by negative people. I'm done walking around upset on the verge of straight click-mode. I control my anger, no one else. I will not give the miserable my company, I'm too blessed to let the ignorant stress me. As long as I put my best foot forward the rest of the nonsense can kick bricks and that's putting it mildly.

The crazy part is that I started this post on Friday and obviously it wasn't meant for me to post it then because the weekend just kept getting more and more interesting by the second. Obstacles in the disguise people were thrown every which-a-way but the right way. So it gave me ammo to add more. Well deuces good people. Until next time...

Much Love ~Nika~

"HOLD UP, I KNOW SHE DIDN'T..."

Some people probably didn't get that right off the bat when they read the title but for those of you who immediately started talking in the Sha-Nay-Nay voice... DING DING you get a cookie cause that's exactly what voice was in my head when I started typing. LOL

Chiefs and/or Indians???



In the last two weeks I have heard the saying "It's too many Chiefs and not enough Indians" entirely TOO many times. My question is, who is the deciding factor of who is the leader and who is the followers? The main mouths that throw this statement out are ones who want to be the leader but also quote in the same breath "but I don't want to be in charge but I will be to make things better." HUH??? Is it necessary to not  participate in activities because everything is not going according to your plan? Is it plausible to say in one breath "Things need to change," but in the next, "I don't like THOSE changes"? True, everyone is entitled to their opinion, votes should be cast, and every one's thoughts should be taken into consideration. And if "Majority Rules" not in your favor then applaud for the cause and let's get moving with a positive not negative mindset. 

Why are human beings so dang power hungry? Everything is a competition, for what? What's the prize? Is there a prize? I don't get it. Conflict that causes others within an organization to draw straws or take sides is not healthy. Compromise, team-work, and communication skills to achieve a greater goal is the only way to get things done decent and in order. Imagine the great things that could be accomplished if more people worked together than dividing and attempting to conquer causing unnecessary confusion and conflict.

In order to get away from a lot of power struggles I have chosen to step out of titles in the past. Some of that may have stemmed from lacking in confidence within myself as well or just not wanting to do it from the get go. Today the titles that I hold, I hold them with my head held high and choosing not to feel bad because it's not like I sought out those positions, I was voted or promoted. Honestly I was a little leery of them at first letting that self-doubt creep in and scare the bejesus out of me. Making me afraid of criticism from others but today I say, "NO MORE!" I will not let the opinions and ugly statements of others dictate how I handle what I was called to do.

I remember one sermon that my pastor preached stating that everyone is not destined to lead. Just because you think you could do this, that, and the other better than somebody else does not mean that's what you are supposed to do. Sure enough you may be good at that particular thing but does that mean you're supposed to lead others in doing it or are you supposed to help by passing on your certain expertise? Also everybody isn't destined to be followers, a prince of a kingdom must lead one day when the king passes the torch. It's pre-destined. We all have a calling to do something, why not be happy in that and push on? Like my pastor once stated, 

"Did your blessing pass you by because you were too busy worrying about what somebody else is doing?"

Alright that is all folks, back to your regularly scheduled program... That was weighing heavy on me and I decided to let that beast free. I figured why not share this with everyone. Someone may be going through the same thing at the moment.

Much Love ~Nika~

Reflections Part II...

Reflection - consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose

So there are several definitions for reflection, every dictionary has about 10 different meanings listed. Some show synonyms to the word but the main thing is they all bring you back to same point; a result, idea, thought about a certain topic basically. Well that's putting it into my own words. Just don't quote me, I could be wrong. How people interpret situation outcomes or information that's read is basically a matter of opinion.

For instance, I have not always had the best self-esteem coming up, whether I was TOO big, TOO tall, TOO loud, TOO quiet, hair was TOO nappy, TOO broke, and that list could go on forever. I was never happy within myself. Honestly it wasn't until recently where I started to embrace everything that society or most importantly ME always saw as wrong. Now I won't go into pointing fingers as to why I always felt unworthy or lacking in the loving myself department because the fact of the matter is it has always been up to me to love myself in order for others to love me in return. The many faults I saw in the mirror were 'OPINIONS' whether they came from the horses mouth (me) or others that surrounded me. The only opinion that should have truly mattered should have been mine. If I was confident within myself anybody elses opinion would have took a flying leap off the nearest cliff. Either way that's in the past, I couldn't love myself more now. It took me about 20 years to figure that out but hey the most important thing is that I finally see a lot of things for what they are. Not to say that I still don't doubt myself in my endeavors or even my personal appearance at times but who doesn't? I have bad hair days, clothes don't fit right, and so on.

Moment of honesty: Who doesn't enjoy hearing "Good Job", "You look nice", "You better do that!"? (OK that last one was something I say but y'all catch my drift)

I still ENJOY getting compliments from time to time but I don't REQUIRE/LOOK for it anymore. I know people personally that don't like to do anything if they don't get praises for what they do. If they don't get the praise that they require then they go to bragging about everything they have accomplished or have done for others. Truthfully if I don't get asked about some stuff that I am capable of doing or have done then I don't say anything. I absolutely hate the spotlight, it makes me sweat profusely. LOL... I spend too much money on clothes to sweat them out, I'm just saying. (DH don't say a word) I guess my point is don't look for compliments to define you as good in your craft, define you as a nice looker, or overall nice human being. Carry yourself in that manner, feel it within and that ore will shine through. It will be obvious that you are the truth without you opening your mouth and saying a mumbling word. There's something about being a child of God, whether you have a setback from time to time or you walk straight all the time (bless you if you walk the straight all the time cause Lord knows I got issues) outsiders will recognize the good in you even when you don't see it.

Alrighty good people that is my rant of the day... well part of it... the rest is coming soon!

Much Love ~Nika~

"These Are The Days of Our Lives..."

Who or what crosses your mind when you say those words aloud? If your answer was the soap opera that used to come on, that could be the correct answer for some people cause the actual days of our lives and the situations that came on those days could fill the pages of so many books it would turn into a trilogy. When I said the words aloud the first thing that came to mind was the popular Bone Thugs and Harmony song "These Are The Days Of Our Lives".

In case the lot of you haven't figured it out, music is like a window to my soul. Listening to certain music can transfer all sorts of emotions and send me through so many different mind sets. For instance when I listen to certain Dirty South music I tend to either feel real thuggish, feel at ease, or ready to "Drop It Like Its Hot", pun intended, all depending on the song. I can listen to east coast and want to be a lyricist or listen to west coast and then I plead the fifth. Don't judge me... Lol... Take it "Slow and Easy" with some serious R&B and wanna "Go Half on A Baby" because let's face it HE "Got his hooks in me"... Ok that may have been cheesy but I enjoy taking it "Back in the Days" with my music choices. That's when some of the best music could describe how even the most difficult to understand person is feeling or could make that one person with the hardest shell to crack feel all mushy. The base, drums, and organ of "The Blood still works," can dang near send you into shout mode because you feel like reflecting on how "God Made Me!" LOL... Ok I will quit with the song titles telling a story type of writing.

What makes you feel good?

Is it music, movies, interactions with loved ones, food, workout, a good read, etc.?

Movies come in as a strong second soother for me but music will forever be number one. And no offense to the youngin's of this generation but the new age music is just not my cup of tea. Every once and a while I might run across someone from the 2000's era where I can pick at least one song off their CD and bump. But in all honesty late 90's all the way back to 70's got me on lock. Yes I said 70's and yes I know I was not even thought about but the music from that era just has a meaning and a purpose. It had a feeling, a lot soul, and sometimes a mind of it's own. Studies say you should play music for babies while they are still in the womb so maybe that makes me a hidden genius cause I love music so much (DON'T LAUGH TOO HARD PEOPLE). Of course they said certain music but we will overlook that one minor detail.

That's my rant for last night/today. You just never know there may be more to come for the day because I'm so "UNPREDICTABLE." Okay for real that was the last song sentence. Until next time...

Much Love ~Nika~

Today is a good day!!!

Where is the 90's crew at? What's the first thing that comes to mind when reading the title "Today was a good day"? Hopefully those of you who are considered as "old heads" by today's youth will be honest and embrace our inner thugness and say Ice Cube riding in his 64 impala. But I know some are gonna play special and act like they don't know what I'm referring too and that's cool. I will be old by myself... LOL

Today I just feel, AHHHHH... Just so many words could fill in that blank...

My challenge for all who read this is to fill in that blank for yourself.

Today I feel __________!
If it's good, reflect on what made or makes it good, if it's bad take a hard look and figure out how YOU can change it or make it better. "Hello lights!" As my pastor would say...
S/O To Pastor Pierre Primm of Miles Memorial C.M.E Church... (say cheeze)

I have been fighting the urge everyday not to continually check the sales status since I first published Love Drug on the busiest retail chain online today. Today I lost that battle and I am too happy to be on the losing end of that stick cause it's selling. I can't wait to read the reviews of those that have purchased it now, I pray that all are good. So my blank will be filled in with GRATEFUL, the reason is because consumers are actually giving me a chance. I'm on my way and I can't wait to continue on this literary journey.

WON'T YOU JOIN ME!?!

As always, Much Love  ~Nika~

Lovely Day...

I remember once I heard a preacher give a sermon about greetings. They said that they almost hate to ask someone how they are doing or how their day is going because the answers are always negative; "Oh not so good..., Terrible..., To be expected..., Alright but..., Good but... then it's followed by what is going wrong or has went wrong. LOL... I found that sermon funny because I would be lying if I said I didn't do the same thing and sometimes I find myself doing it till this day. My key phrase is, "I'm good, just tired..." BOOOOO!!!!

"I need to do better," I always chant that statement to myself but what am I doing to change the things I don't care for. I was reading a classmates blog just last week titled
"Honey, You'd Better AFFIRM That Thang!!!" by Jennifer Dawn at The Upgrade Experience (Double click the highlighted links and it will take you straight to it). It was very motivational for me and made me question whether I am my own mood-killer. Whether or not my negative feelings on any God given day is the sole reason why I feel down sometimes or just plain in a bad mood. I affirm that I want to be more positive. How about them apples?

I have an abundance of things to be grateful for and it's high time I focus on those things vs complaining about what has not gone according to MY plans. I can finally say "I GET IT"... It's not my plans that matter it's HIS plans that have and will always matter.

Now that I have affirmed many things for myself to UPGRADE myself, (Thanks Jennifer) I will close this blog out because I don't want to add to it and change the atmosphere of it. I should have two more blogs for today on the other topics swirling through this complex brain of mine. Stay tuned for more on this wonderful growth process...

Much Love as always ~Nika~

REFLECTIONS...

Reflections - careful thought, especially the process of reconsidering previous actions, events, or decisions

"As I look back over my life, I can see how your love has guided me..." Those are the words to the beginning of one of my favorite gospel songs because it truly explains how truly blessed I have been even when I didn't realize or recognize it. I always complained about this and complained about that. This wasn't right, I wasn't being treated fairly, life isn't fair, womp womp womp... Now that I relect back that's all I did was complain. But as the song says, as I look back over my life, honestly I can see how much God truly loved me because he brought me through those many complicated trials of my life. When my faith wasn't as strong as it should have been, he still never gave up on me. Truth be told I am not a bible-slinger, verse-spitter, holier than thou holy roller by any means. I know I have a long way to go and I know I will never be perfect, that's not the way of the world. But in that same thought I recognize the good in me as well as the bad, I acknowledge my short comings, I repent for my sins, and I thank God for the many blessings he pours out big or small. I may not have it all but one thing I am extremely grateful for is the many people around me that pray for my success versus those who wait for my demise. They already know who they are, so there's no need to name names. Just know I thank God everyday for you all.

NOW MOVING FORWARD FROM THE MUSHY STUFF....... I just had to get that out. I wasn't intending on going there but my fingers started moving and I just let it go.

Back to reflections...

After reflecting over the past and the many signs that I possibly missed because I was not confident enough to step out on faith. I see the great things that are to come, I feel it in my heart and soul that what's to come is beyond exceptional. What's to come for my family and I is beyond our wildest dreams. I just hate that it took me so long to come to this realization that I am capable of big things and skilled in many ways. I'm not conceited by any means and I have been told that "I am talented." I always frowned on that phrase mainly because I hate the spotlight. I like to wade in the background, it's my personality. True enough some that know me know that I can be loud as all get up and show plum out at times. But in all actuality that's only in a comfortable family/friend's setting. When put on the spot in front of other's, I freeze faster than skin touching dry ice. NOT GOOD!!!  Obviously that fear is something I will eventually have to get over with the many different titles that I currently bear.

In reflecting on the past-present, I fully accept and embrace all that is to come. I will adapt, I will always at least put my best foot forward, and I will continue to keep my faith.

Loving me and all that comes with me... MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

In Deep Thought...

My mind sometimes runs a mile a minute. Before I can complete one thought another thought forms and sometimes forces its way to the forefront of my mind. Whether that's a good or bad thing, I don't have a freaking clue. One thing about it is that I should never get bored. Lol...

Although my books are my passion at the moment, my second hobby is my hair and its quickly forcing its way back into the limelight. I fell off something terrible considering the way I was when I first went natural. Actually I blogged almost everyday about my hair with pictures to back it up but eventually I got bored with my hair, didn't feel like taking pictures to watch my process, and so many other excuses because thats exactly what it was. EXCUSE AFTER EXCUSE...

I'm officially ready to LOVE my hair back to health... After reading a blog and other reports of trying the Natural Hair Growth Challenge, I have decided that I wanna be IN like FLINN... yep real corny. First I'm going to get a drastic cut by a professional and then get a trim every three months afterwards. I am going to try the same challenge on Ashy's hair and document our process even if it's with just one single picture of before and after. Along with the growth challenge, I plan to do the moisturizer challenge as well. I'm going back to making my own hair care products made from Shea butter, coconut oil, and aloe Vera gel. Also I will be washing once a week with dr. Bonner's since its sulfate free. I plan to mist, steam, or rinse the other days of the week. My Shealoe back into my regimen will hopefully help out with my frizz, mayonnaise deep condishes once a week is the goal, and I just purchased a new product that I never heard of that has repairing qualities. It can be used as a styling product as well as a leave in conditioner. OH AND DID I MENTION ITS ALL NATURAL and on sale at Walgreens buy one get one free!!! My challenge officially starts NOW. I still have to get my hair cut but hopefully that will be done soon and then the fun can begin.

Follow my journey not only through the rocky road of writing but also follow me and my hair love affair (HUBBY APPROVED AFFAIR).

My Fotki is http://members.fotki.com/NaturalKandi/about/

Wish me luck... MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

Happy Tuesday...

Today I woke up dragging like usual because I have to go to work. WOMP WOMP WOMP....
But as I got started with me day, I had to remember that I have to be thankful that I have a job first off. Then I have to remember that I do have other options to make my situation better. Those options are unlimited as long as I put my all into it and believe that whatever I speak into the atmosphere it will come to reality as long as I stay determined. Well good people I am here to tell you, I am truly determined to make all my stress waste away, to become a certified self employed household, and most importantly stay mindful of the flash flood warning.
Ok that last statement no one will probably pick that up unless you were at Miles Memorial C.M.E on Sunday morning when our own Pastor Primm brought the message titled FLASH FLOOD WARNING.

The point is that this new year it's time to get our ducks in a row, prepare for the future, and still live our dreams before it's too late. I want to leave this place with no regrets. I don't want to always think to myself, "Did I do the things that I wanted to do or Did I accomplish all that I set out to do?"
This is not a New Year's Resolution, this is a PROMISE to myself.

As always MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

MInd Blowing Decisions...

Mind Blowing Decisions causes head-on collisions... I have always loved that Heatwave song...

Often times the decisions that we are FORCED to make are truly mind-blowing, mind-boggling, and just plain HEAVY. Then you have the decisions that you CHOOSE to make, those are the more simpler ones because from jump street you pretty much already made up your mind what you want to do. Finally the decisions that are just out of your hands and were made for you. DECISIONS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS... It's either left or right, this way or that way, front or back... you get my drift.

It seems that I am in ramble mode so let me get to it. I consider myself as a multi-tasker to the 25th power. I keep up with current authors that I follow on wattpad.com by reading, voting, and I always try to leave feedback. Especially those that gave me that much needed feedback for 'Love Drug' when I first wrote it. It was raw and edited to the best of my abilities at the time. It was the first time writing a story down in a long time and definitely my first time allowing anyone else to read what I wrote besides DH. One fan turned into two, before I knew it I had 3 books on wattpad and a fan base of 779 people. How awesome is that???!!!! I have over 2000+ votes for all of my books. What a blessing my wattpad fan base has been to my creative soul because they fed me with that much needed boost that fills me with the belief that my works are really good. BIG HEAD??? Never that... LOL

An author that I have been following her work for a while recently asked do my family and friends support my work? I had to admit I have some serious supporters around me but there are always the ones who you feel won't support anything that you have going on unless it somehow benefits them. I know that's probably mean as all get up to say but it's the truth.

The more I research this world of writing, publishing, marketing, etc. the more I'm faced with the decision of "WHAT TO DO?"

When I finally made the decision to go ahead and see about publishing my first finished book, I didn't have a clue where to begin. So I started googling different publishing houses and OH MY, it's a lot of them. The first ones that contacted me were those vanity publishers; those are the ones that sell you a dream and then set it on fire when they tell you how much you have to pay them in order to pick up your book. Then there are the big houses that mean big business but they require you to have a literary agent before even considering taking a look at your manuscript. OK, at least that gave me a starting point. Or did it?? Now it was time to research literary agents; either they weren't taking new writers, they only worked in certain genres, all wanted a query letter written a certain way to even consider your request, and the steps just continued. I sent my letter to so many agents but I have yet to hear anything back. So I can only assume they are not interested at this time.

I follow another author out of Michigan and she has so many dang ebooks I am shocked my iPad hasn't crashed because I have just about all of them. Either way the more I looked at her process with ebook's I decided that maybe that was the route I am meant to go at this time. Don't get me wrong I am not by any means giving up on one day becoming a best-selling author, "MY GOD, THAT THOUGHT SOUNDS SO GOOD," but maybe it was meant for me to get my feet wet in the game first. Either way I'm down for the journey...

I think I have rambled about my decision making processes enough for one post... Hope I didn't bore you too much... Until next time!!!

MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

ATTENTION!!!

I am so excited today... Although I struggled with getting my ideas in order, struggled with making the hard decision to self publish, struggled with the conflicts of whether what I write or how I write will be frowned upon in my current position on the home front, and the list could go on for a while. I'm pretty sure most of you catch my drift. I'm proud to say that regardless of all those battles that I went through in my head, 'Love Drug' is officially published by, none other than, Passion Publishing founder K.K. Harris herself. LOL... (OK special moment speaking of myself in the 3rd person...)

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/nappyredd30

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/NappyRedd30

The original cover that I created was good but personally I felt that this one had more of a mystery to it and would bring more UMPH to my main character, Brock.

This book is my baby, mainly because it's my first ever written down on paper, edited, formatted, and published book. I pray that it receives the recognition I know it deserves, and that's not just being biased because it's mine. It really is an enjoyable story about love, side-hustles, dealing with obstacles, friendships, and lots of other different aspects. On the flip side Love Drug is what some would call 'RAW'. It has colorful words, scenes, and situations. So please be advised, parental guidance should be strictly enforced.

Currently Love Drug is available through ebook only on smashwords and lulu. I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. There is a sequel to Love Drug called Mo' Better and that will be released in a few months. I plan to have this book in print before I move on to the sequels. The sequels to this book are in deed some doozies that will keep you on the edge of your seat. But I don't want to take you too fast so, BABY STEPS it is.

 As always only time will tell if this is going to be all that hope for...

MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

Dilemma...

So I won't start off with my usual greeting, I love this and I love that...

Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2013 we made it!!! 

Today I have been in deep thought and have been contemplating how some may process or interpret my writings. As I stated in my very first blog or bio, whichever one, my writings are extremely different from my home life. My books are in the genre of Urban Fiction with some “R” rated scenes, not an overhaul of explicit behavior but some none the less. Some choice words are used but overall it's kinda tamed compared to some stories I have read. 

But my dilemma is I'm a Preacher's wife, lol that reminds me of that movie with Whitney Houston. Ok my hubby is a minister (sounds better) and I'm proud of that fact. Because my venture into the book writing world will be broadcasted on a lot of media sites, I wonder will I be viewed in a negative way because of my choice of writing knowing my title of a PW. I know the world is full of haters and people in general that love to see another fail. Honestly for someone to bad mouth me, what can I say but "it happens" and it's been happening since I can remember.

"What my real issue is will it affect my husband’s reputation?"

It probably should be common sense considering we are one unit, you see one then you see the other. I know what my reaction would be to commenters and I would rather save that comment for that moment. JK. Maybe I should enter this question into the "POWER PEOPLE POLE" LOL...

Being in the church world can sometimes be as hypocritical or stressing than being of the world, if I can be honest for a second. Don't get me wrong my current church home, I am seriously pleased with what I receive and my spiritual growing process has returned tremendously from the strain that I was experiencing. But I always wonder can some outsiders separate the writer "NAPPYREDD or K. K. HARRIS" from Kanika or Nikki. I hate to say it like this cause I know a lot of folks are going to say, "This fool is crazy", but the truth of the matter is that we are two different people that have to share one body.

Split personalities, YEP! Do I possibly need a check, sure why not!

We all have them at times it's just hard to admit to it!!!

Anyway that was my rant for today... And feel free to comment, I like feedback. It's creative boost for me!!!

Much Love ~Nika~