When is enough...enough?

When is enough really, truly enough?

What is the one thing that will make you throw your hands in the air in surrender? 

We as human beings have a tendency to take, take, take, take which in turn results in us giving, giving, giving, and giving more to others. We take bullspit, we take less than what we deserve, we take empty promises, we take the abuse from others, and most importantly we allow others to take us for granted. 

Those mistreated individuals give their kindness, understanding, love, affection, body, spirit, and even money. Constantly giving until the giving has been giving all out. Somehow there's always just a little more to give and even the best con artist can get even the last drip of water from a dry well. 

But don't get it twisted, I'm not putting the victims on a pedestal by any means because as my favorite saying goes, 'if you like it, I love it!' If the victim is steadily being had, used, left high and dry, they obviously like or their just a 'glutton for punishment.' For the user, that one person that constantly has their hand out, there is only so much any one person can take before they go smooth off. With that being said...

How long is too long to let someone use or leach off of you?

Be it physically, emotionally, mentally, or even financially...

I was watching 'Being Mary Jane' onDemand yesterday and I couldn't help but feel extremely pissed off for Gabrielle Union's character. She has a gang of people around her that always have their hand out. Not just financially... Oh no it's way deeper than that. Whether it's her friends pulling from her business wise, pulling her into their personal issues, and don't get me started on the men. I felt kinda bad for her... :(

Then I had to pop myself on the hand for always feeling sorry for others when in reality they can do something to change why their in certain situations. Be it a free-loading family member, irresponsible child, cheating spouse/companion, all the way down to a lazy employee/co-worker... none of them deserve your time, energy, or anger. 

Yeah I said it your anger... It takes a lot of energy to be angry at someone. Studies show that it uses more muscles to frown than to smile. I am the queen of smiling on the outside but have ugly brewing on the inside. (I'm a work in progress) Nothing is going to change overnight but as long as there is a desire to change than the hard part has already been done. 

Now I'm not going to sit up and front like it's a female vs. male thing or vice-versa. Because we know that either sex can give better than they can receive. The disher of the bullspit is nine times out of ten the first one to dang near have a conniption, crying to anyone that will listen if they feel they have been done wrong. It's that shoe on the other foot syndrome... They can't handle it. 

The one that is stuck as being the receiver of the bull is at fault to a certain extent because they don't have it in them to tell the quarter-back to kick rocks, with no socks, or flip-flops.

Only my opinion, don't shoot... 

In closing, my thoughts are wake up and quit playing the victim... quit letting folks run over you, your feelings, or your wallet... quit allowing people to pull from your kind spirit... quit allowing folks to turn your positive into negative... 

That's my rant for today... I was feeling a little funky! I'm better now... 

Much Love ~Nika~

Rejection...

Rejection

noun

1. 1.

   the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc.

   "the union decided last night to recommend rejection of the offer"

   synonyms:

   refusal, declining, turning down, dismissal, spurning

   • 
     

     
     

~

I feel like I'm beating a dead horse at times because all I ever do is rant. I don't mean to sound like I am full of complaints or anything but some stuff just bugs the mess out of me. 

It has been established that not every story, situation, thought, all the way down to a dish or piece of clothing is for everyone. Some folks like tight, revealing, flashy clothes where as others prefer loose fitting, less-revealing, and more toned-down attire. Where some ratchet folks love to start up, keep up, and spread drama versus the ones who would much rather steer clear of the bull. Food preferences is self explanatory, no one likes the same thing all the time. Too many choices are out there to just stick with whats always available. 

As a form of entertainment or being in the entertainment industry, it's a chore to even attempt to keep up with the many ideas that flow through the mind. I for one am always second guessing, third guessing, and at times questioning myself or work for a fourth time. 

Is it good enough? Will people like it? Am I good enough? Why can't this or that? Why didn't this or that?

A story I released last year didn't get the response I thought it would. To me as well as several other sneak readers loved the story and had nothing but great things to say about it. When it was released the sales were phenomenal but alas the very few reviews received did not meet expectations. To say it was a huge setback for my fragile, freshly started ego it was a major disappointment. After crying and whining about it for quite a while, I moved forward in hopes of remedying what went wrong. 

The only problem is that I can't figure out, "WHAT EXACTLY WENT WRONG?" 

I don't have a friggin' clue... I have read, re-read, broken the story down, and for the life of me I can't figure out why it didn't go as far as expected. 

Then the wake up call touched down, EVERY-BODY-DOES-NOT-LIKE-EVERY-THING.... DUH!

Of course my sound board, the one that can never escape my voiced concerns, told me in advance to be prepared that some readers may not feel where I was going with the interracial romance. I understood and took to heart where he was coming from but I just knew that hopefully I would reach the readers who didn't see color. The ones that would see the intense budding romance between two people and not the differences between the two. Not saying that's the reason why in my eyes the book was a flop but I can't help but feel that could be a factor in why the sells aren't as good as others.

Then the reviews, of course all reviews are not going to be favorable to the author. That much is clear. But then when there are contradicting reviews, I have to wonder what's really going on. Who knows why some folks say what they say... Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

One reviewer said it was riddled with repetitiveness and mistakes... Mind you the mistakes was not found... (shrugs shoulders)

The next one said it was free of mistakes but they thought the characters were empty... <blank stare>

A few others said it was a perfect love story and they loved the way he loved his woman...

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion cause I know I will voice mine at any given moment. Even if the truth hurts, it is what it is... It's official, I have hit my first bump in the road and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last. You win some, you lose some... 

That's all for today peeps... Holla at your girl...

Much Love ~Nika~ 

Who is to blame?

Who is to blame, when a child misbehaves or acts out?

Who is to blame, when a spouse/companion steps out or lacks affection?

Who is to blame, when a loved one(s) express through actions their love is lessening or shows no love at all?

WHO IS TO BLAME?!

Why do we, as human beings, always feel the need to play the blame game? 

Whenever something is astray, we tend to try and change things. Some of us want everything, everyone, and every situation directly around us to be all-good. Often times it's a true chore to make everyone like you, to attempt at making everything and every situation likable.

When a child acts out it is now a 50% chance that it's not all on the parent(s) that the said child has become dang near unbearable. (yeah I said it, if you don't agree that's your opinion) It's like the old saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make em' drink." That saying goes for chiren too, "You can show them the way but whether they follow your instructions is the mystery."

There are so many "appropriate" parenting tools on how to effectively raise your child, effective disciplinary actions to take, and yada-yada-yada. Then when all of those fail, they recommend medication... WHAT? So they can be unproductive, zombie-like, emotionless creatures just roaming around with no purpose. Some kids are sick and that's what helps, don't let me knock it. Then there's the vast majority that has no medical illness, they just don't want to abide by the rules. The attention they get from being pure butt-holes is all they need to continue down the path of destruction.

The spouse/companion that steps out, nine times out ten the one disrespected will be blamed. The finger pointing ranges from: He/she didn't show me enough attention, I just fell out of love, the other person gave me what I was missing, and (my absolute favorite) It just happened... What the heck just happened? I will tell what happened, Y'ALL READY? New booty happened, new opportunity happened, new infatuation happened, new attraction happened,  and the idea that the "old" ain't going nowhere so let's do this.

Don't get me wrong, some folks actually are not meant to be together. Their seasonal relationship just ran it's course but who is to say they were supposed to be together in the first place. Just because things sound so good in the beginning, the couple meshed together so naturally, and new lust (oops did I mean love...mmm?) is so potent that cupid needs to bottle it up to be sold... all that does not mean they were meant to last.

Lust is a powerful force in my opinion it's like the little joker in a deck of cards. But LOVE is the most powerful, indescribable, remarkable force that will make the smartest person do the dumbest stuff imaginable. It is the Big Joker, the card that trumps every card in the deck. When a man/woman says "What if love is not enough?" Then my dear that means that love has been tested to that point of no return, that is when you feel you have done all you can do, that is when the damage is so deep that all the band-aids in the world couldn't stop the bleeding.

Excuse my language for just minute: Shit on me once, shame on you... Shit on me twice, shame on me... You best believe if it's a third time then I obviously just like to wallow in shit...

If you are a disrespected, always wrong, never recognized, invisible parent... I'm here to tell you, JUST LET GO AND LET GOD! Continue to pray for our misguided youth. Just chill out and wait until we are needed. Because baby, I know we will be needed one day. 

If you are a mistreated spouse/companion who never seems to get this thing called love right... JUST LET GO AND LET GOD! Quit searching for it and sho' nuff quit putting up with BULL-CRAP because you don't believe you can get better. Stand up put your grown folks panties/boxers on take your share of the blame as it is placed at your feet. As for the rest... hold your head high, chunk them deuces if you must, and do what you must do to get your happiness-mojo back in full swing.

Never let anyone/anything steal your joy that God himself has put into play for you...

That's my story and I'm sticking to it... HOW YOU DOING?

MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

Proper Support System

What's the difference between having the proper support system and seeking approval of others?

Support;

: to agree with or approve of (someone or something)

: to show that you approve of (someone or something) by doing something

: to give help or assistance to (someone or something)

Approval;

: the belief that something or someone is good or acceptable : a good opinion of someone or something

: permission to do something : acceptance of an idea, action, plan, etc.

Those are definitions from Webster Dictionary but how do we take those words and apply them to life.

Life experiences has taught me the hard way what the difference is.

Personally, I've sought out the approval of too many in my hay day. RECAP: I'm only 33 years old but my soul is a little older... LOL. I won't even tap into that faucet because that rant could go on entirely too long. If you know me, you know me. BOOM moving on... :)

Just as the saying goes, 'IT'S A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE.' Don't take my words to heart when you read them, I don't hate anyone or anything but I do dislike a lot of unnecessary situations. I think a lot of confrontations could be avoided if the chain dividing folks from repeating history and changing for the better was broken. Oftentimes it's said that people make the same mistakes of their ancestors or the people that came before them. That's not exactly true, the same mistakes are made by choice. Probably a bad choice in some cases but a choice nonetheless.

Take some family members for instance. Some sayings have stated 'you can't choose your family.' Says those who live by that crappy excuse to put up with utter garbage time and time again. Then they got the nerve to complain, BOOOOOO!

Oh and my favorite line, 'Family sticks together no matter what,' or 'If everybody else turns their back on you, your family will always be there.'

BULLSPIT! (My form of swearing, don't knock my knack...)

Personally I have come to terms that family will feed you to the garbage disposal or throw you in the lion's den before they properly support you.

Or they live by the 'WAIT AND SEE' rule. The rule where they wait to see if you succeed and then congratulate you as if they were rooting for you to do great things the entire time. When the truth is they were the main ones talking about you behind your back hoping and praying you would fail.

Family is not who you were born with necessarily but those you have been blessed with.

If you want to succeed to your full potential, that's what you should continuously surround yourself with. Surround yourself with greatness... Surround yourself with those who count their blessings while praying for your blessings to be increased... Surround yourself with those who add you to their prayer list instead of adding you to their gossip board... Surround yourself with ones who are there when you are at your lowest and never snub their noses at you... Surround yourself with ones who desire to surround themselves with greatness because if they still have you around that means YOU ARE GREAT!

Now if that isn't a self-esteem booster, honey I don't know what is.

I choose to break the chain of destruction of those who came before me... HOW ABOUT YOU?

On that note, I'm stepping down off my soap box.

Much Love ~Nika~

Part Two...

As I stated in my 'Happy New Year' blog, I'm not doing the whole new years resolution so to speak but I plan to make the necessary life changes to alter the things I want to change. I'm setting goals instead. How can you accurately set goals? In my opinion, you can only set the proper goals if you appropriately analyze what it is you want to change. So in order for me to do that I feel like I need to reevaluate my previous year or years. It's like when you read a story that's apart of a series, you may go back to the book before to skim through to make sure you are still on track. As a kind of refresher course...

2013 was a good year for me. Things that I didn't know I was capable of achieving, it was made possible. Through hard work no doubt but it happened nonetheless. Long nights, endless days, countless cups of tea, and numerous sound out sessions all came in handy as I typed away on my laptop. My sound out sessions consist of ear buds, a music app (iHeart radio, Pandora, etc.), and any neo-soul station. That's when I get the most work done.

LOVE DRUG - Jan. 2013
MO' BETTER - April 2013
QUESTIONABLE INTENTIONS - July 2013
AUSTIN'S DESIRE - Oct. 2013

What a blessing it is to be able to live a life long dream... One whole year into the business of working for SELF. The Lord has truly been good to me and my family. Every morning when I rise, I thank him because I know another day is not promised and if it wasn't for his grace and mercy... Where would I be?

2013 was also an eye-opener year for me as well. Of course I count my blessings but I also let go of some baggage. Numerous times I've heard or read people speak of getting rid of unnecessary people in their lives. Ridding themselves of pointless relationships that seem to go nowhere. I have honestly had a 'come to Jesus' moment more than once last year where I was privy to a serious revelation.

I was walking around with rose-colored glasses, FOR REAL!

Some things that I burdened my spirit with for years... Things that always seemed to riddle me stuck on stupid in the end... Things that would drive the ones closest to me straight up crazy because I was obsessed with COMPLAINING about the things that drove me next to insane.

I stuck with one piece of advice that my sissy (R. Edwards-Rodgers) blessed me with back in 2007 throughout all of the dilemma's in my life. After one of my ranting moments where I was damn near in tears from frustration, she said "I love you and I'm not trying to be mean but don't continue to complain about it unless you are going to do something about it." Actually she said it a little harder than that but I couldn't even get mad because the truth hurts. I was woman enough to admit it at the time. So that motto has stuck with me to this day... LOVE U SISSY!!! 

I said all of that to say this, NO MORE. I am finally at a place in my life where I take what is to come or 'lack there of' in some cases with a grain of salt. I can take it or leave it... I choose to leave it, what about you?

In other good news, to start off the year with a kick... http://nappyredd30.wix.com/nappyredd30 is officially up and running. Complete with a sign up option that will give members/followers/fans/readers a chance to follow my live story writing process. The process I would normally go through on wattpad.com but I'm doing things a little different this year. Even if I don't get the kind of following I have on wattpad, I still plan to follow through with this endeavor.

If you would like to be apart of my story writing process that gives you a sneak peak into the stories I have planned for the world... Click on the above link and sign up at the top of the page. I will be sure to send out updates as the story progresses.

Until next time... MUCH LOVE ~Nika~

Happy Anniversary!!!

Today is the day that I will never forget. Well maybe one day it will become a faint memory but until then, IT'S MY ANNIVERSARY!!!

This day ONE year ago I released my very first book, 'LOVE DRUG' that is still one of my best sellers. I truly enjoy writing. It's not the money, it's the excitement of starting a story, becoming one with the characters, and making it happen as if it were real life events. All too often I've gotten questions in regards to whether my stories are based off of real life events or made up. The answer is always the same, they are made up. As it states in the copyright area, it's all pure coincidental that some people, places, or events may resemble real things.

To celebrate my first full year as a self-published author, my fifth book was approved for distribution. That's right, THE ULTIMATE FIGHT is completed, edited, and submitted for review on amazon.com/kindlebooks.

HOW EXCITING IS THAT!!!???

Currently I still write live stories on www.wattpad.com/nappyredd30. Wattpad is where I made my start. Where all the votes that boosted my confidence, the comments that hyped the stories up giving me the motivation to continue, and here I am almost two years later with five completed works.

Of course I have my ups and downs with the business. I'm not famous, YET, but don't count me out. I claim good fortune as well as recognition in advance. Everything happens in due season and I'm about as patient as anyone in my position can get. Finding representation or major publication is no joke. The research has taught me a lot though. It's a strenuous process not knowing if your query letter, synopsis, or even your first five chapters is good enough for someone in that industry to give you that one shot. All most self-published authors just want that one chance to prove that they have what it takes to be great.

Oh well I won't whine about it... Mainly because this is a happy day... My day will come. :)

That's all for now folks... I was just too dang crunk not to share this with the blogging world. As soon as it is available for purchase via Kindle I will pass the word along. Until then stay tuned... Much Love ~Nika~

The Ultimate Fight

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Part One…

I know it’s been a while since I have blogged. Honestly there is no excuses or explanations that could top the one BIG truth, LIFE. Life has happened… Life is continuing to happen… It’s happening as we speak. Am I complaining, NO MA’AM & NO SIR. That’s the beauty of it. I’m not regretting jack nor am I wishing for any differences. Sure over the years I have gained a few pounds (okay more than a few) over the years. Would I like to lose some weight and tone up? Sure the heck would. Am I wigging out over it? Heck no. 

This time of year is when everyone in the world issues their New Year’s resolutions. Lose weight, stop cussing, go to church more, increase their territory (I love that song by the way), new this, new that, find love, and the list could go on forever. I used to be one of those people that gave off empty promises of changes. Why do I say empty? Because let’s keep it pimpin’, why wait until January 1st to say what you want to change? What is so special about January 1st that will motivate a person to make some changes? 

Not a dag-blasted thing is special about that day besides it being the mark on the calendar that signifies the beginning of a new year. Out with the old, in with the new. December 31st is officially old news when the clock strikes 12:01. Boo-damn-hoo… Do I sound like a grouch? If so that is not my intentions. My thing is, why not make adjustments throughout the year instead of waiting until the start of a new year? I guess it’s considered as tradition but traditions change. 

A lot of people that make the resolution to diet, it lasts all of a month. As soon as they get sick of fixing salads and living by a printout from google they are off to their favorite restaurant pigging out. (Making up for lost time) Then there are the ones that vow to stop cussing, judging, gossiping, and other derogatory things but as soon as someone or something doesn’t go their way… BOY!!! They are clicking harder than a general in the army, calling folks everything but the child of God. Am I perfect, heck no but that’s the beauty of it, I don’t strive to be nor do I want to be. 

Can you imagine what kind of a microscope a PERFECT person would be under?

Child please, I embrace my flaws happily. God is always working on me and that alone makes me feel like I can make it through whatever curves LIFE throws at me. As long as he is the head of my life with me giving him all of the praise and all of the glory, nothing is too great for me to accomplish. 

So instead of setting RESOLUTIONS, I am setting GOALS. How you love that… 

#1 – Love harder, laugh longer, and live life to the fullest… 

I know that was more one thing under one line but it all ties together for me. Like I said before I’m not going by what society thinks is best anymore. I’m living for me and mines, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 

Love harder – the proof will just have to be in the putting… If you are close to me you will see the evidence if not… <Que the crickets>

Laugh longer – laughter is good for the soul plus it is said to decrease aging ailments. If stress adds years to your life, laughter has to lighten that burden even if just a smidgen. BOOM!

Live life to the fullest – self explanatory. 

And that’s all I can give you lovely people because although I’m not overly superstitious, I prefer to keep my goals to myself. Just keep me in your prayers. 

Love you all, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. Enjoy life more than just living by a protocol. Stay tuned for part two… 

Much Love ~NappyRedd30~